O/our Values

The Parlour is first and foremost a Lifestyle focused and sober space that strives to provide high quality and safe experiences for consenting adult participants. Consent, Personal Responsibility, and Kindness are the three foundational values of our club and will be expected of all members, guests, students, and staff in every experience.

Consent - It is O/our value that consent is the most important aspect of any experience. We operate on a active consent rule where only yes means yes. No means no. Maybe also means no. No response also means no. Be prepared to hear “No” and accept it with grace. No is a complete sentence and requires no explanation.

Personal Responsibility- It is O/our value that no matter what role you are playing in a Lifestyle experience, you as a consenting adult are ultimately responsible for your own safety, comfort, feelings, traumas, and actions/inactions. While W/we strive to create an environment that is safe, conscientious, welcoming and fun, it is your personal responsibility to signal/speak up if you are uncomfortable, in distress, or have an issue that needs to be addressed.

Kindness - It is O/our value that Kindness is the key to successful encounters. While The Parlour is not politically focused, we are a fem LGBTQIA owned and run space that expects all participants to practice kindness and demonstrate actions that align with the acceptance of: diverse sexual orientation, diverse gender expression, diverse physical appearance, and diverse Lifestyle expressions. Kindness to U/us means you will not comment or act in a negative way towards another while in O/our House, will engage in mature and healthy communication practices, and use common sense.

Code of Conduct & Rules

By attending, purchasing a ticket and/or membership to any event at The Parlour or affiliated spaces, you agree that you have read, understand, and agree to abide by all these Rules & Code of Conduct and you agree to waive/release The Parlour and the organizers of the event from any and all responsibility and liability for any injury occurring to, during, or after the event; including any lost or stolen items. We reserve the right to refuse entry / membership at all times

You cannot use ignorance of the rules as an excuse for breaking them and all DMs will enforce these rules.

We do not offer sex or illegal sexual services. Do not ask.

  • Every Parlour Participant will be required to attend a Dungeon 101 & Vetting Event or schedule a Private Tour & Vetting with a Dungeon Moderator (IE Staff, Security, Host Dommes, official subs etc) to be eligible to attend any play parties, open dungeons, or social events.

    NOTE - Folx may attend public educational workshops and Open Houses prior to being vetted.

    What does it mean to be “vetted”?

    1) You must register an account in our private booking system so we have your legal name, birthdate, emergency contact, and a signed Waiver.

    2) You must go over basic safety and sign O/our etiquette guide with a DM.

    3) You must choose to be either a Vetted Guest or Member and subsequent Membership Level.

    4) You will be issued a custom “Vetted Guest” or “Membership” Card that displays your chosen name, details as you wish, and a unique participant number that correlates to your account. This card MUST BE PRESENTED to enter any events (other than educational workshops or Open Houses) at the Parlour. If you do not have your card with you, you will NOT BE ALLOWED ENTRY regardless of ticket status. No refunds will be issued if you forget your card.

    Why do we do this?

    Because safety is one of our highest priorities. We want all participants to be able to attend events knowing that ALL participants have been instructed in basic safety and etiquette, have accountability, are empowered to say no, are over 18, and have emergency contact information on file.

    Dungeon Masters

    All DMs have been selected based on their references from trusted BDSM community members, their positive community service, and/or credentials. All Parlour DMs will have a blue Dungeon Master Card for your reference and peace of mind. All DMs should show you their card before exercising authority. If someone attempts to exercise authority over you outside of a scene and they do NOT have a DM card, please alert staff immediately.

    Enforcing Rules

    We can only engage with behaviors on premises, and that occur during O/our events.

    Official Warnings from Dungeons Moderators (IE Staff, Security, Host Dommes, official subs etc):

    3 Warnings = Strike

    1 Strike = 3mo Ban and Reassessment Interview

    2 Strikes = 1 Year Ban, Reassessment Interview, Vouch by another member in good standing.

    3 Strikes = Banned Forever

  • Negotiate Consent - Only Yes means Yes. No response means no, maybe means no, and no means no. Always ask permission before touching any part of another person or their belongings.

    Gain consent at each event.

    If you engage with A/anyone without consent you will be escorted out without a refund and may receive a warning, strike, or ban.

    Compliments are wonderful, and if you are wanting to give one to a stranger, focus on non sexual or physical characteristics. IE I love your outfit vs your ass looks amazing. Even if it’s true, gain consent for intimate conversation just as you would physical interaction.

    If you are unsure how to negotiate consent, ask a DM, W/we are here to help.

  • The Parlour uses a “Stoplight System” in addition to negotiated safe words.

    Green = Good to Go / Continue/Increase

    Yellow = Slow Down / Change Activities/ Decrease

    Red= Pause all activity immediately and check in.

    Safe Word = Stop the Scene Completely.

    If scene partner have not negotiated their own, the default safe word is “Uncle”.

    If a partner’s ability to speak is limited by play, use a non verbal signal such as rapid finger tapping, squeezing a squeaky toy, open and closing fist etc.

    If hands are also unavailable due to play, rapid grunting in sets of three as an SOS functions as a “Red”

    If your safe word, signals or stoplight are not being honored, regardless of your role in the scene, alert a DM immediately and W/we will assist you. You may shout DM or Red loudly or SOS Grunt.

  • Respect Each Other - Use Common Sense and Respect in all your interactions. Issues should be resolved between yourselves first and foremost. If this is not possible involve a DM, W/we are here to help.

    Be punctual when applicable.

    Do not interrupt a lecture, demonstration, or scene. If you have a safety concern bring it to a DM.

    Use the Names and Pronouns given at events, even if you know other names/pronouns for an individual. For some folx this is the only place they get to present in a desired fashion, judgement free.

  • Comply with all Dungeons Moderators (IE Staff, Security, Host Dommes, official subs etc) at all events. They are there for your safety and wellbeing as well as to ensure legal compliance so we can all keep playing.

  • Attire - French Vanilla Attire only in Public spaces - IE shared bathrooms, shared hallways, outside. Fetish attire welcomed in Kink spaces.

    Grooming- There are a lot of U/us in intimate spaces so be clean, control body orders, and have nice breath.

    No heavy perfumes or colognes as many folx are sensitive.

  • The Parlour is a dry space. Absolutely no alcohol, illicit substances, marijuana or tabaco use. If DMs suspect you are intoxicated or under the influence, you will be escorted out without a refund and may receive a warning, strike, or ban.

  • Privacy - Never "Out" someone, this is grounds for Banning. Use the names given at events, even if you know other names for an individual.

    Pictures / Recordings - are NOT ALLOWED at any events at the Parlour except in the designated "Selfie Stations" or by designated Event Photographers. Anyone choosing to have their photo taken by an Event photographer will be required to sign a photo release. If you share your own Selfies on Fetlife, please tag the Parlour.

  • Food & Drink - Bottled Water is permitted everywhere. Drinks & Snacks are available for purchase and may be kept on your person, but please keep O/our space clean and do not place Food or Drink in the play areas.

  • Clean - All toys, equipment, and area must be cleaned with provided alcohol spray, wipes, or specialty cleaners at the conclusion of a scene.

    If You’re Sick- If you have a communicable infection or virus such as COVID-19, Cold, Flu etc. refrain from attending events. If you choose to attend and are not sure if you’re sick, wear a mask. Credits in your accounts are good for up to six months. We reserve the right to require masks, or cancel events for group saftey.